– Feels dated and uninspired, not because it’s bad, but because it’s the same recipe with the same ingredients as every previous Alien movie. It feels passé by design, trapped in Ridley Scott’s retro vision of the future that frankly hasn’t aged well. Maybe there are die hard fans or a new generation of Alien inductees for whom this will scratch an itch, but sadly it didn’t do jack for me. Not to mention it has more false endings than Return of the King.
Rebel Ridge
– gripping action thriller feels like it’s building to something epic but never really gets there.
Twisters
– classic disaster movie: jargon laden dialogue, unlikely protagonists, and absurd levels of destruction. Good? Absolutely not. Fun? Certainly fun enough.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
– Every time I’ve sat to watch a Mad Max I’ve fully expected it to be balls, and every time I’ve had that expectation subverted. Happily, it’s the same again. This is not just not bad, but actually pretty damn great. Over the top, inane, hysterical – sure. But beyond the sand clouds is a solid plot, among the fiery acrobatics is uninspired but convincing character development, and behind the face masks and prosthetics, some magnificently campy and hugely entertaining performances from a top cast. If big noise, big explosions and big heart is your bag, you’ll find this to be a lot of fun.
Bad Boys: Ride or Die
– is it on a par with BB1 or 2? Absolutely not. Is it a pointless cash in? Maybe. But it feels like a Bad Boys movie. The leads still have chemistry, the plot just about works (tenuously), and honestly, I think I may have just willed myself not to write it off. Frivolous, trashy, but fun.
Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F
– it ticks some boxes; a lot of the original cast, the iconic theme, and Axel relentlessly talking his mouth off with mixed results, but much like watching has-been legends at Glastonbury, beyond the nostalgic pang, it’s mostly disappointment.
The Adam Project
– insufferable kid meets his insufferable future self. It’s annoying, as per most stuff with Ryan Reynolds these days.
The Fall Guy
– this was a pleasant surprise. The marketing implies cringey formulaic trash, but Gosling and Blunt deliver a smart, funny, innovative crime thriller, firmly in feel-good suitable for kids territory, with a plot and execution that demonstrates a real love of the whole craft of film-making, with lots of clever references, meta direction and creative prop play. It reminds me, in a good way, of One Cut Of The Dead, but with an epic budget and less freedom to deviate from the Hollywood box office criteria. Great fun, recommend.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
– Every bit as stagey, smug and ridiculous as the trailers implied, with a protracted and wordy setup. If it was entertaining it might get away with being this egotistical, but the cast are curiously devoid of charisma and it’s mostly dull.
Monkey Man
– Dev Patel is Batman’s spiritual successor and practically a one man band in his own revenge thriller. It’s slickly produced and quite enjoyable, if not quite as gripping as it could be. A shame that rather than nimble and exciting as the name might suggest, the action sequences mostly turn into heavy fisted slug fests.
Argylle
– so terrible I don’t know where to begin. I’d recommend you don’t.
The Beekeeper
– Jason Statham’s latest action thriller is one of his worst. If there’s any spectacle at all, it’s how crap the script is.
Land of Bad
– I came to this review a few days after watching this and had to remind myself what it was about. It’s not a great sign when an action thriller is that forgettable. That said, having refreshed my memory, I do recall finding this fairly engaging. It’s all a bit cliché and conventional, but as a by-the-numbers, mission-goes-south-behind-enemy-lines flick it holds up all right. Crowe, particularly, is a fun, surprisingly campy watch.
Special Ops: Lioness S01 (TV)
– gripping and way above average spy thriller sees a naive US marine going undercover on an off-books kill op. Everyone acts their socks off, and though it’s cheesy in places and unbelievable in others, and though the backdrop is inevitably US-jingoism – oorah! – it’s still great entertainment.
The Creator
– forgettable sci-fi focuses on the most boring, hackneyed elements of its premise, while exhibiting no imagination regarding the technological potential of AGI. These robots sleep while they recharge! Every appliance in my house functions while it’s on charge, and these robots sleep? And at night, too? Why?! Gareth Edwards and Chris Weitz show a 90s, iRobot level understanding of the technology, and no ambition in exploring the vast impacts it would have on the world. We see a civil war between robots and humans where the only apparent difference between the two, in how they behave, work, interact, is that the robots have a cylindrical hole through their heads. Hugely disappointing, particularly given Alison Janney’s involvement. Massively wasted potential.
Coeurs Noirs / Black Hearts / Dark Hearts S01 (TV)
– french language Iraq war thriller falls just short of greatness, stumbling in the final episodes. Even so, it delivers an intense, nail biting Humvee ride into counter terror operations around Mosul and Erbil, where a special forces team are tested with one risky operation after another. It’s slickly directed and edited, with a masterful score and powerful performances. Unfortunately, in a somewhat contrived pivot to tee up a second series, the story loses cohesion and a little credibility, but I’ll definitely be tuning back in.
The Equalizer 3
– For Denzel fans, there’s a certain nostalgic joy to watching him dismantle bad guys with a graceful and near effortless ease, particularly when sharing the screen with Man on Fire co-star Dakota Fanning. For everyone else, this is a conventional two-dimensional action thriller, albeit one with marginally more thought and depth than most.
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One
– a ludicrous story delivered with tongue in cheek panache, thrills and big insurance bills, and a lot of laugh out loud slapstick. For all its tropes, ham-fisted exposition, and more conventional action set pieces (fights on moving trains, in tight alleyways etc), the franchise still manages to innovate and surprise and Cruise remains equal to the task. A frivolous, wafer thin delight.
Extraction 2
– if you enjoyed its progenitor, you might get similar kicks from this, too. Hemsworth bounces back from death’s door to tear up a prison, a train, and then most of central Vienna. Slick, but so brainless as to be boring.
John Wick: Chapter 4
– this franchise’s perennial problem is that while a few of the action set pieces are hilarious and innovative in their execution, they’re nowhere near enough to prevent sustained boredom over a three hour runtime. If even a fraction of as much attention was paid to the plotting and dialogue as the choreography, this might have been entertaining. Instead, despite the comedic and explosive gun-fu hustle, it’s a slog.
Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant
– Ritchie’s homage to war interpreters is high tension, gripping and emotionally resonant. He’s overly liberal with his use of slow motion, and the dry bravado and knowing nods of the soldiers is all a bit macho, but the characters are likeable, the scenery and cinematography searing or stark in all the right places, and the soundtrack redolent of OSTs by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis, which is to say, brilliantly evocative. I thoroughly enjoyed it despite its minor flaws.
Avatar: The Way of Water
– it’s always disappointing when in the absence of new ideas, a sequel just rehashes the plot of its progenitor. In this case, there isn’t even a new villain. They just bring the psycho Colonel from the last film back from the dead (literally), and send him on the same rampage through Pandora, this time replacing the jungle tribes with water tribes. If I hadn’t been starved of cinematic spectacle this last year or so, I’m not sure I’d have made it to the end, but the sheer scale and beauty of Cameron’s CGI world is at least alluring and immersive, and if nothing else, it has some flashy new nautical visuals to fill the 3hr12 runtime. A pity it’s irredeemably hamstrung by a weak, uninspired story and crap dialogue.
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre
– maybe Guy Ritchie’s lost his mojo because there’s something soulless and money-grabbing about this shiny, over the top action thriller that’s as glossy and mechanical as the power tool peddling laminated pages of an Argos catalogue and offering similar levels of excitement. Even the script, usually crackling with Ritchie’s wit and acerbic one liners, feels like a first draft pieced together from scraps recovered from the waste paper bin in his office. What happened?
Echo 3 S01 (TV)
– CIA action thriller is just a few missteps short of masterful; polished, slickly produced, and with top tier acting and cinematography, particularly from director Pablo Trapero. It comes off the boil towards the end, and there are a few too many contrivances, including at least one that’s borderline insulting, but as an overall package, this is stunning, edge of the seat stuff. I’m not really sure why everyone isn’t talking about it…
Uncharted
– unremarkable adaptation of the landmark gaming franchise. A shame, but exactly what you’d expect from a blockbuster title featuring Mark Wahlberg and Tom Holland. Boom and bust.
Knowing
– caved and watched this Nic Cage end of the world thriller on false intel that it’s been overlooked and is underrated. It hasn’t and isn’t. It’s absolute balls. Avoid.
Last Resort S01 (TV)
– submarine action thriller is exactly what you expect from 2012 era bingy TV: no depth (despite the sub) and low intelligence, two dimensional drama. Easy, lazy, moderately enjoyable viewing for when the thought of engaging your brain is off-putting.
The Peripheral S01 (TV)
– what starts out as a visually arresting, striking vision of a dystopian future, after a few episodes, through some quirk of ‘made for TV’ homeostasis, becomes far too conventional for its own good, with the innovative aspects of the lore taking a back seat in favour of painfully familiar themes – crime families, evil scientists, PTSD suffering soldiers, forced romantic side plots – and infuriatingly complacent, arrogant protagonists. There’s hardly a character who isn’t self-satisfied and hubristic, making them quite irritating to watch. The highly futuristic and impressively realised sci-fi elements – peripherals, sims, melding psyches, parallel universes and cross temporal communication, apocalyptic pandemics and artificial environments – novel areas that would be fascinating and potentially original territory to explore, all end up as almost farcical gimmickry in the service of telling very unremarkable, even boring stories. After receiving the start of the series enthusiastically, disappointingly, I’m not excited at the prospect of another. A shame, as it’s a waste of diverse talents, not least from the VFX crew.
Free Guy
– Ryan Reynolds continues his run of tediously cocky and sarcastic protagonists in this very silly action comedy ode to massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPGs). Albeit not a laudable comedy, it is much funnier than one could reasonably expect, in part because of its relentless in-jokes, nods and winks to gaming clichés and parodying of AAA publisher greed. It serves as both an indictment of modern games and a tongue in cheek love letter to the art form, which it intrinsically recognises as worthy of so much more than a cash grab. Do I recommend it? No. As a gamer myself, did I enjoy it? More than I care to admit.
The Protégé
– a reminder that aggregate ratings can be misleading or straight up wrong. Director Martin Campbell turns his GoldenEye to this slick, well composed action thriller, shooting excellent combat set pieces from London to Vietnam. The arch villain is relegated to a hollow McGuffin, and the story as a whole feels slightly undeserving of the high polish and stellar cast, but when that cast includes Michael Keaton, Samuel L Jackson and Maggie Q and they decide to step up and bring the charisma, they put on a helluva show.
The Woman King
– despite the extensive violence, this is a surprisingly warm hearted and tender drama about resilience and motherhood; brilliantly acted and with an unpredictable enough story to engage despite its protracted (tightly choreographed but no less dull) combat scenes.
Day Shift
– while I don’t exactly regret watching it, it’s hard to recommend this lowest common denominator vampire slayer action flick. If you’re partial to Snoop Dogg, toilet jokes, and endless hand to hand violence, maybe you’re in the target demographic. It’s fun in places, but so low iq, rote and unimaginative, even the charismatic cast can’t save it (though the soundtrack definitely punches above its weight).
Prey (2022)
– silly but fairly entertaining thriller about a tribeswoman fed up of being the gatherer in her hunter-gatherer community who decides to tackle the new threat facing her tribe, only to discover it’s an advanced alien predator. Lightweight but slickly produced with some beautiful landscape shots.
Everything, Everywhere, All At Once
– arguably this is just an inventive rehash of the same themes Hollywood blockbusters have been selling for years, pushing contemporary values like not taking for granted what you already have, learning to accept what you can’t change, fighting for what matters to you (but only in the name of love), seeking truth etc. While there’s nothing wrong with that messaging in and of itself, when it’s ploughing those furrows, this is artless, and could be any Marvel superhero flick or Disney Pixar animation, dialogue laden with cheese and cliché. But that didacticism underpins 90-99% of the movies that are produced these days, and this one is only really guilty of laying it on thick in the final act. For the most part, it is one of the most visually and comedically innovative, batshit crazy pieces of cinema I’ve ever seen. It embraces the surreal, the supernatural, the farcical, and does it with such derring-do and love for the silver screen. It is filled with nods and winks to the zeitgeist, tributes and pop culture references ranging from 2001: A Space Odyssey to Star Wars, from Ratatouille to The Matrix. It borrows building blocks from the giants of every genre then stands on the shoulders of those giants to build a physics defying tower worthy of Escher. Without resorting to drug trip comparisons, it’s hard to articulate just how far this film is willing to enter the bizarre. Where it falls short is in finding a substantive plot to match the genius of its visual creativity. Whatever it’s trying to say about nihilism, solipsism, maybe about mental illness and the nature of identity, when the fight sequences include dildos and butt plugs, characters have fat hot-dog fingers and the big bad enemy threatening to destroy everything in the multiverse is a giant black bagel, it’s hard not to see it as glib. In short, this is absolutely worth watching for the extraordinary absurdity and freneticism of the whole thing, but don’t expect to be affected on a deeper level. Smiley for effort and originality.
Bullet Train
– the latest entry in Hollywood’s recent snarky black-action-comedy genre (think Deadpool) wants to combine Guy Ritchie smarts with Matthew Vaughn action. It does a passable job aping the choreography and comedic action set pieces of the latter, but falls far short of Ritchie’s caustic wit, and though it mimics his structural and expositional style, lacks his knack, playing out like an ersatz knockoff. That’s not to say it doesn’t have moments of great fun, and the silliness is occasionally so ridiculous as to be genuinely novel. Also in its favour is that Pitt’s likeable nice guy shtick acts as a salve to every false note, flat joke, bad accent and cliché. If you like macho, quip laden hand to hand combat and delight at a cameo, this is worth watching.
Lou
– in an uncharacteristic action thriller role, Allison Janney proves she can play any part convincingly, but the weirdly lit cinematography never seems like anything other than a Hollywood set, and drab direction makes the whole thing feel run of the mill.
The Gray Man (2022)
– there’s a criticism often levelled at action thrillers: that in the absence of a decent story, they compensate with gunfire and explosions. Never has it been more applicable. It’s nearly forgivable in this case though, enjoyable as it is to watch Gosling and Evans gallivanting across the world executing preposterous stunts in protracted, high octane sequences. Exactly how the epic destruction of Prague was ever going to be swept under the rug is unclear, but this isn’t a film that gives two wits about accuracy or smarts, it’s all about the dance, and between the nonsense, it’s got a few decent moves.
Top Gun: Maverick
– strange to think this is how they used to make them: all soft crossfades and sharp lighting, six packs and flapping flags. It’s silly in all the ways you expect a sequel of this profile to be silly, but beneath the macho willy waving and thrilling stunts, it’s also surprisingly gentle, optimistic, and ultimately feel good. In other words, a classic old school blockbuster. Might have to spin up a VR flight simulator now…
The Terminal List S01 (TV)
– Chris Pratt’s military revenge thriller is very silly and takes itself far too seriously, but it’s also a lot of fun, kinda like early Prison Break vibes. When Pratt’s Navy SEAL one man killing machine is finally let loose as a full blown psychopath on the run from the FBI, it ticks all the boxes for classic binge material: cliff hangers, predictable twists (that you still want to see resolve so your guesses are vindicated), cathartic violence (albeit at least once much too excessive – no-one wants to watch a man gutted and forced to unravel his own intestines)… the tone of the whole thing is very morally questionable, if not morally reprehensible, but if you can reconcile yourself with that, it’s very entertaining. I even think I’d watch a Season 2. You know, if the brain tumour gets resolved.
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
– meta silliness is Hollywood’s new toy. Don’t Look Up, The Matrix Resurrections, and now this. Nic Cage as Nic Cage in a 90s style blockbuster action thriller full of references to Nic Cage movies. The irony is that without Cage, its entirely plausible this still gets made, just as a typically bad b-movie. With Nic Cage it’s the same bad movie, only with a self awareness that introduces some light comedy. At the risk of sounding like a killjoy, this doesn’t rehabilitate his image, nor work as a platform for his ‘massive talent’. He comes off as a good sport at best, and a tiresome egomaniac at worst.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
– terrible acting and a script that exists solely to string together repetitive fighting scenes between macho idiots and monsters. Even allowing for its gaming origins, this is laughably bad.
The Batman
– noir, low lit and low key reimagining of the caped crusader might be too ponderous and grimy for its own good. Pattinson’s Batman is a greasy straggle haired emo, a scarred wreck of a man, his aesthetic more misanthropic, washed out rocker than billionaire playboy. His tech is lo-fi and clunky, his boots thicker soled than Trinity’s. But there’s nothing wrong with Pattinson’s performance, nor his chiselled jaw or inevitably gravelly voice. It’s no fault of his that director Matt Reeves wanted sombre and sluggish over suave and swift. Nothing says sleek like jumping off a building, snagging a parachute on a bridge, getting hit by a bus then bouncing along the pavement like a discarded coke can. Every movement, be it a kiss or a car chase, feels unrealistically, achingly slow. The runtime could have been halved if characters just moved and spoke like normal people. But credit where it’s due: when all is said and done (three hours later), it is this stylistic choice, derivative of the noir serial killer detective thrillers of the late 90s, that conjures the thick atmosphere and carries the action. It’s not a great film, but it’s not bad either, and that makes it stand out in the superhero panoply.
Extreme Job
– Don’t think I’ve enjoyed a cop comedy this much since I was a kid. Inane from the get go, this is a silly rollercoaster ride, with laugh out loud slapstick, some genuinely sharp wit, and a few slick action set pieces. It’s a little too reliant on the latter towards the end, and could easily have shed some runtime cutting back on that, but highly recommended nonetheless.
Sweet Girl
– misled by a higher than expected TMDb rating, I ended up watching this. It was terrible. Don’t waste your time.
Dexter: New Blood (S01)(TV)
– season 9 or season 1 of New Blood? Officially S01, but hard to envisage a S02 after the events of this one. The plot is as silly and impossible as ever, but it’s still a pleasure to see Michael C Hall step back into the familiar shoes of Dexter Morgan, serial killer. Despite annoyances and story inconsistencies that would never have plagued the first few seasons of the show and cement its massive drop in quality, surprisingly, it remains fun to unwind to and to second guess. The ending, then, puts an abrupt and unexpected stop to that and will prove hugely divisive (or straight up hated).
The Matrix Resurrections
– quite tragic really. Basically a meta commentary on how Lana Wachowski was coerced into making an unwanted sequel and the subsequent battles with studio execs over what it should be about. Anyone coming to The Matrix now would do well to watch the original and none of the others. A gimmick and a missed opportunity.
Red Notice
– A case of the Netflix blockbuster formula: big stars, no brains. This is an exercise in character one-upmanship where the goal is to be the most annoying. Absolute trash.
Copshop
– a smug and unfunny Tarantino / Ritchie wannabe, with plenty of contrived style but bugger all substance. Tedious and self-satisfied.
Kate
– Mary Elizabeth Winstead is pretty fantastic kicking ass in style, but it’s hard to get away from the fact that this action thriller is a cliché in every respect, and inferior to other titles in the same assassin’s revenge genre. Plus, how annoying is that kid?
No Time To Die
– Craig’s swan song as Bond is a fitting and fun end to his stint, though the realism of the show continues to be stretched beyond breaking and the writing swings wildly from brilliantly witty to cringingly bad. Overall an enjoyable watch. I hope future Bond’s return to more classical threats from villains who are elaborate thieves or politically motivated terrorists, rather than just well connected and well resourced authors of chaos with a flair for props and set design.
Cruella
– an upbeat and hugely entertaining punk reinvention of the eponymous childhood villain, though the sinister transition from sweet Estella to psychotic Cruella results in a climax that feels more unsettling and hollow than resoundingly victorious.
The Tomorrow War
– two decades ago this sort of ludicrously stupid alien time travel tomfoolery might have landed on its feet, sitting among Independence Day and other mindlessly bombastic blockbusters. By today’s standards, it’s just vacuous nonsense, so formulaic it could have been scripted by an AI.
Infinite
– Painfully stupid. It’s embarrassing that Antoine Fuqua has his name attached.
Wrath of Man
– Guy Ritchie’s latest is all brawn, swagger and meaty muscle men. His trademark one-liners and quirky English wit don’t translate at all to American, and the opening act is too slow and broody to charm. That said, Ritchie still delivers a polished, stylish revenge thriller, worth watching even when we’ve seen Statham do it all before and know the ending’s a foregone conclusion.
Nobody
– No more or less than a magnificently choreographed symphony of violence. Cathartic.
Boss Level
– bloodthirsty tongue in cheek action thriller in the same vein as Deadpool, Crank and Guns Akimbo. A fun blast, for sure, but its attempts to include a father/ son relationship feel misplaced, and it outstays its welcome by a good thirty minutes.
Greenland (2020)
– even allowing that this is an apocalyptic action thriller starring Gerard Butler, it still manages to disappoint. Dire script, poor visuals, and an ill conceived, threadbare plot. Not since War of the Worlds have so many explosions led to such an anticlimax.
Fatman
– simply terrible.
Roald Dahl’s The Witches (2020)
– Dahl’s fetid classic is given a fresh lick of CGI. While I personally wouldn’t show something this twisted to my kids, I expect for some, it will make a memorable childhood trauma.
Ava
– so hackneyed it has an E5 postcode. Also, bad.
The Old Guard
– silly action shooter provides slick choreography and a lot of entertainment if you can check your mind at the door. I’d watch a sequel.
The Outpost
– really didn’t expect much going into this, but despite the glossy poster boys clearly chosen for their chiselled jaws rather than their acting chops, this was extremely compelling and quite emotionally affecting as well.
Tenet
– both leads are phenomenal in this fast paced, slickly shot headscratcher that’s as confusing as it is engaging and either too clever or too tangled for its own good. Not as enjoyable as Nolan’s last few films (excluding The Dark Knight Rises which is a bad anomaly).
Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)
– surely other people must be getting bored of all this costumed absurdity. Even Margot Robbie can’t save this eye-rollingly wretched display and the cocky humour doesn’t help (Ryan Reynold’s Deadpool has a lot to answer for). Bad doesn’t begin to describe it.
Barry S01 (TV)
– I wanted to like this much more than I actually did. While clearly a Bill Hader vanity project, he’s easily good enough to carry it, and in a silly way the plot just about works. The tone is all over the shop though, sometimes slapstick goofball (and unfunny) comedy, sometimes sharply witty, and sometimes quite devastating drama. If it were consistently smarter and funnier, it might work, but as it stands, it falls short.
Midway
– typical Roland Emmerich action thriller (Independence Day, 2012): talking torsos surveying destruction as it unfolds on a green screen and flag waving as they stare down the barrel of inevitable defeat to ultimately triumph against the odds. If glorifying war wasn’t enough, it also features some of the thinnest female characters ever committed to screen. Yeah, it’s a Sunday movie, and absolutely undeserving of its current IMDb/ TMDb ratings.
Extraction
– it’s open warfare in the streets as Hemsworth trades hammer for Glock, struts his Jason Bourne, rips some limbs, kicks some ass and racks up an easy three figure body count. Where are the press? Where is… pretty much everyone other than the goons getting nailed? Nobody knows. This is some old school action silliness right here. Slick but utterly absurd. Good fun though, and with a name like Extraction, did anybody expect any different?
Bad Boys For Life
– To contrast with the Smiley of Approval, maybe I should introduce a sad face for truly disappointing films. Given my fondly nostalgic memories of its progenitors, this pitiful, unfunny excuse for an action comedy would certainly deserve one. A generous viewer might argue the buddy cop duo themselves at least retain a degree of charisma, but even that’s a stretch. A great shame.
Onward
– an inept boy struggles to get over the loss of his dad while learning to appreciate his brother in the emotional plot underpinning this animated magic adventure. Whether it works for you is likely to correlate directly with your own family relationships. It’s certainly less adult-friendly than some other Pixar creations, generally eschewing wit and pop culture references in favour of slapstick comedy as it ploughs a familiar feel good groove, reiterating the beloved Hollywood values of family, standing on your own two feet, and facing your fears.
Bloodshot
– Edge of Tomorrow meets The Terminator, with none of the ingenuity or humour, and evidently none of the originality. Clichés, Hollywood tech nerds and pseudo science abound. If you enjoy brute force action, there might be something for you, but I promise it’s nothing smart.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
– a masterpiece of creativity and a reminder of why superhero movies ever became popular in the first place. This is a self-referential, hilariously witty and inspiring animated genre mash-up that leaves every other superhero movie looking tired and tropid. A pleasure from start to finish.
Black and Blue
– corrupt cop thriller is formulaic, predictable and contrived, but more egregious still: it’s boring.
Guns Akimbo
– Had an absolute blast watching this. Did not expect that. In a similar vein to Zombieland, everything about it is stupid, starting with the premise, through to the tattooed, gleefully whining villain, and including the immature humour. Yet somehow, if you don’t think too hard about it, or think about it at all really, it absolutely works as an overall package, and is massively, embarrassingly, entertaining; a riot.
Freaks (2019)
– a pretty derivative addition to the ‘superkid’ dystopian sci-fi genre, very obviously ripping on Stranger Things and X-men. More than half way through it musters some excitement, but still ends with too many questions to ignore.
Watchmen S01 (TV)
– Not quite a masterpiece but certainly a masterful piece of TV storytelling. Racism, identity, time travel, religion and transgression are just some of the themes considered, all under the guise of a slickly produced and extremely stylish action thriller. Nice work.
1917
– The problem with this style of cinema is that it’s massively distracting. It invites more time spent wondering about the production methods, hidden cuts, and how the environment is mapped out than engaging with the characters and story. Without the self-imposed constraints of the single take impression it could have been a better film, and still included long takes where appropriate. Instead, it belongs in the same category as Gravity: an incredible feat of film-making at the cost of storytelling. But like Gravity, is an unmissable spectacle and deserving of accolade.
The Witcher S01 (TV)
– another disappointing video game adaptation, this one hoping to capture the Game of Thrones audience with a moody atmosphere, the requisite conspiratorial plotting and plenty of gore. Though a huge fan of the games, I found this dull and confusing.
Captain Marvel
– flash flash bang bang, lots of orange, lots of blue, lots of little green men. It’s a bog standard Marvel film with a bit less humour than usual. Take it or leave it.
Zombieland 2: Double Tap
– lacks the pinache and originality of its predecessor and the plot is weak at best, but there are still enough laughs to be had, and the feel good vibe and self referential comedy make for a lighthearted fun few hours.
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
– Contender for worst film of 2019, maybe even of the decade. It must be an effort to make a film so thoroughly vacuous.
Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw
– Dwayne Johnson’s charisma carries this explosive, rip-roaring action thriller. The plot is ludicrous and the formula tired, but it entertains.
Avengement
– basically an extended bar brawl with a foul-mouthed cockney narrator. Oddly characterful and entertaining, though some dodgy production gives a B-movie feel.
Alita: Battle Angel
– surprisingly good dystopian teen sci-fi is comfortable wearing genre tropes and carries itself with aplomb. Vaguely reminiscent of Equilibrium (2002).
Stuber
– a partially-sighted, beefcake cop pursues criminals with an unwilling, goofy Uber driver. Yep, this is absolute rubbish.
Gemini Man
– despite a poor setup, weak script and uninspired direction, Will Smith’s gimmicky doppleganger action thriller is at least somewhat entertaining.
Animal Kingdom S03 (TV)
– there’s nothing more criminal in this series than the way it has turned a menacing, high stakes crime drama into a chaotic, madcap and asinine catalogue of errors; as if the writers decided as long as they included the stock ingredients of drug-taking, sex and random acts of violence, they could avoid actually having to drum up a compelling storyline or any innovative new heists. This is terrible writing with nearly nothing to redeem it. As a fan of series 1, I can only hope they seriously upped the game for season 4. I’m not holding my breath.
Aladdin
– adults are clearly not the target audience for this cringeworthy musical adaptation of the classic from Guy Ritchie, but kids will enjoy it, and thankfully, Will Smith offers some light relief as the hammy genie who goes above and beyond.
The Boys S01 (TV)
– wildly original as well as just plain wild, this is a superhero misadventure with more dark twists and psycho kinks than a comicon in a bondage dungeon. The script is often too try-hard, whether in attempts at shock or humour, and the characters and Machiavellian scheming sometimes just too obvious, but as a cocktail, it’s hard not to swallow the lot with a giddy smile and extend the glass for more. Cross Deadpool with Banshee and you’re somewhere close – Antony Starr sure can pick ’em.
Solo: A Star Wars Story
– immensely underwhelming given the cast and director. Ehrenreich’s Han Solo is unlikeable, pompous, and apparently astonishingly lucky. With endlessly annoying smug bluster, he squares off against and double crosses two dimensional villains while joining some story dots for all the fans who aren’t bored yet.
Shaft (2019)
– three generations of Shaft buck the man and take on the crooks of Harlem in this silly, tongue-in-cheek action remake. Its humour stems from irreverantly playing with questionable notions of masculinity, casual misogyny and millennial bashing, and though it tries to do it with enough swagger that nobody cares, it still feels a few decades too late. Not offensive, just a bit pathetic.
Animal Kingdom S02 (TV)
– the crazed family of thieves continue to trample each other and everyone nearby in their attempts to earn a quick buck, get high or get laid. While there are some major plot developments this series and it remains easy viewing, the show feels less even-handed and considered than its prequel, with a reckless, scattergun approach that is messy and unconvincing.
Spider-Man: Far From Home
– why I’m still watching these is a valid question, and one I ask myself often. Every now and again, they surprise with an enjoyable few hours. This is one such time. Heavy on the humour and overall, good, silly fun.
Polar
– some will hate its overt comic book stylings and video game sensibilities – the shamelessly titillating nudity, caricatured villains and vividly graphic violence – but for fans of the genre this is a slickly produced and exhilarating ride.
Hunter Killer
– An hour or so in, this flag-waving, chest-thumping, oohrah-ing submarine thriller proves better than expected, though the usual formulaic ingredients of rallying speeches, classified intel and trigger-happy Russian villains don’t feel any fresher.
Danger Close: The Battle of Long Tan
– compelling if unremarkable Australian war film.
Gozilla: King of the Monsters
– If the script fails to bore you with its fortune-cookie platitudes and lazy exposition, the convoluted, badly-realised set pieces and self-indulgent runtime will. These monsters of mass destruction are a massive waste of time.
Kidnap
– If there was ever such a genre as straight-to-DVD, bargain basket thriller, this is the epitomy. An extended and exhaustingly uninspired car chase from start to finish.
The Wandering Earth
– albeit commendably audatious in scope and premise, this futuristic space sci-fi is weighed down by exposition and video games graphics. A reminder that mass appeal doesn’t necessarily correlate with quality.
Avengers: Endgame
– some jokes, some tedium, some indulgent moping, and enough dodgy CGI to remake the Star Wars prequels results in a (just about) tolerable three hours, and thankfully, finally, maybe, a conclusion to the Avengers. Can we have the actors back now?
John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum
– nobody watches John Wick for the hackneyed dialogue and messy rash of allegiances and fealties masquerading as plot. They watch for the unstoppable, relentless action, and there’s not a franchise that does this particular brand of highly choreographed violence better. It’s artistry, really.
Overlord
– engaging WW2 war thriller with a twist. Whether the twist adds to the film or detracts from it, I’m uncertain, but it packs a punch either way.
The Matrix
– Wow. How a film can continue to conjure such immediate wonder, excitement and hope after 20 years defies explanation. An absolute thrill ride, every bit as fresh as when I first viewed it all those years ago. A once in a generation, maybe even once in a lifetime masterpiece.
The Wolf’s Call
– Wonderfully dramatic French thriller – such a refreshing surprise. Yes, it’s full of absurdly Hollywoodised moments, but they have a kind of hammy charm, and the overall suspense and tension is terrific throughout. Thoroughly enjoyed this one!
The Raid
– fighty fighty pow pow. Relentless action, but if nothing else, it’s seriously impressive choreography and stamina.
Glass
– After an engaging start this superhero idiocy rapidly succumbs to tedium. Other than James McAvoys eclectic performance, there’s nothing here even of note. Immensely dull.
Creed
– pretty bog standard boxing movie, strong on the hype, short on the boxing. Got me fired up though, which is what you want from this sort of thing.
Venom
– more enjoyable than most superhero flicks, particularly thanks to the twisted humour and Tom Hardy’s performance, but at the end of the day, it’s as predictable and inevitable as every other in the genre.
The Incredibles 2
– the one eye I watched this with enjoyed it. A fun animation.
Ant Man and the Wasp
– a typical superhero flick; a whole evening of dull and convoluted exposition strung together with CGI set pieces and peppered with bad jokes. So tedious, the first hour feels like three. Dreadful.
The Meg
– exactly what you’d expect from a Jason Statham action thriller about a super shark attacking a research centre (or maybe a bit worse). Brainless, ridiculous, and not particularly entertaining either.
Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle
– Serkis goes full on Lord of the Rings in his direction of this loose Jungle Book adaptation. It’s polished and easy viewing, but the superfluity of CGI is a constant barrier to getting truly lost in the trees. Good family-friendly adventure though.
The Post
– forgettable and unexciting Hollywoodised newspaper thriller. Citizen Four much better on every level.
The Commuter
– every bit as stupid as you think it will be.
The Equalizer 2
– not as good as the first one. More of a generic beat ’em up, shoot ’em up action thriller and much less slickly presented.
Free Fire
– exhausting sequence of swagger, machismo and mishaps, punctuated by endless chaotic gunfire. If it all ultimately makes sense, I didn’t care enough to notice.
Deadpool 2
– the gag rate is comfortably high enough that when one or two fall flat the next one is already tickling your funny bone, and the ‘meta’ self-awareness works much better than it should. The action sequences are slick, and overall the only downside is the formulaic, stock superhero-movie plot. I think what I’m trying to say is, damn it, but if this isn’t actually quite a good film.
Bodyguard S01 (TV)
– after a phenomenal start that marked a new bar for British TV, with set pieces that would have been polished even for Hollywood thrillers, the story and action slips into familiar clichéd territory and intensity becomes absurdity. That said, this is still an extremely compelling and smartly delivered BBC drama, ideal for an edge of the seat binge watch.
Avengers: Infinity War
– the celebrity clique continues their witty repartee even as the galaxy is dismantled around them. The latest superhero adventure is another 150 futile minutes of baffling, headache inducing CGI. It’s like watching a firework display. That said, if video game cut scenes and Marvel lore are your bag, this one will keep you hooked.
Mission: Impossible 6 Fallout
– enjoyable in the same way The Transporter was enjoyable, feel good vibes, exhilarating action, a smug confidence that feels infectious etc. But the premise is horrible, the exposition staggeringly dense, and the visuals are strangely tacky. Treat it like any other action film and it’s worth a watch, but don’t expect greatness.
Non-Stop
– don’t be misled by the stellar cast, this is exactly as tedious as you would expect a Neeson action thriller to be, even down to the cheesy romances shoehorned in.
Rampage
– one of those action films with minimal story and maximum wanton destruction. The Rock is charming as ever, but even with his charisma, this is shallow and tedious.
American Assassin
– two dimensional action thriller with a bare minimum of character, sense or story and a surfeit of gratuitous violence.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
– Enjoyed it as I would more or less any JP movie, but with 90% of the action taking place in one manor house (which is as aesthetically pleasing as a nuclear bunker), it felt pretty one dimensional and tonally uninteresting. The jokes were mostly contrived or fell flat, except for a couple of slapstick bits which got a good laugh. I’d recommend it for a sleepy Sunday, but versus my expectations (and the last movie), it was substandard.
Den of Thieves
– the one gripping heist sequence towards the end is very tightly executed, but the rest of this macho thriller is so testosterone fuelled and trite it’s off-putting. Too long as well.
Ready Player One
– albeit a children’s film through and through (hence extra-condescending exposition), this is a brilliant dystopian sci-fi adventure – a love letter to video game nerds and pop culture nerds alike, filled with a ton of references and Easter Eggs. Thoroughly entertaining.
A Man Apart
– marginally better than average revenge action thriller with something vaguely resembling real acting from Vin Diesel. Easy viewing.
Murder on the Orient Express
– absurdly blockbusterised. Boring. And that god awful moustache.
Black Panther
– race and gender power aside (which admittedly, stands this film head and shoulders above its peers), this is more formulaic superhero guff. I’m calling time on comic blockbusters.
Tik Tok
– stupid action thriller complete with cackling madcap villain and cliched set pieces. Very disappointing.
A Hard Day
– such an absurd film I initially mistook it for a comedy, this Korean action thriller is undeniably stupid but no less compelling.
Alan Partridge’s Scissored Isle
– Good to see Partridge back in action, but this is nowhere near Coogan’s best, just as often tiresome as it is funny. Hopefully the new BBC series will fare better.
Polytechnique
– Devastating and shockingly violent recreation of a university campus shooting and its profound impact on those involved. Gut wrenching. Haunting.
Shooter S02 (TV)
– Another stunted season due to Ryan Philippe’s freak injury. Probably a saving grace to be frank. Despite a good turn from Josh Stewart (under-appreciated as always but well cast here), this was fraught with cliche, stupidity and wearisome machismo.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
– a big budget spectacle which pales in comparison to its chronological predecessor. The plot alone is reason enough to face palm. Without the scene stealing performances from Oscar Isaac, John Boyega and Adam Driver, there would be no reason at all to watch this.
Bright
– I just couldn’t care less.
The Bad Batch
– Visually stunning but so slow and underdeveloped as to be tiresome. Avoid unless you want inspiration for whacky aesthetics.
What Happened To Monday
– Madhat and brilliantly conceived. Great performances from Noomi Rapace. Lots to unpick and ridicule, but still good fun.
Wonder Woman
– massively overrated superhero tedium. Hollywood continues spewing out the same old same, finding a new face to prop it up and a new marketing ploy to sell it. How this is acclaimed I cannot fathom.
Mother!
– a spectacularly menacing and then outright batshit crazy visual assault. Recommended if only for the masterful film-making, this is an unpleasant allegory with the subtlety and nuance of a battering ram. (Key clue: Mother! is Mother Nature).
The Hitman’s Bodyguard
– ludicrous and slapstick action thriller that unexpectedly entertains. Perfect for a sunday afternoon.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
– indeed.
Shooter S01 (TV)
– Fast paced action thriller, as plausible as Prison Break but similarly enjoyable.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
– An enjoyably stupid romp through English legend complete with Guy Ritchie’s trademark cockney schtick.
Taken 3
– somehow marginally more entertaining than Taken 2, but equally ridiculous.
Dunkirk
– innovative and powerful war film. Hardly something to get excited about though. Nolan’s worst in my view – at least in terms of enjoyment.
Battle Royale
– unclear about the tremendous hype for this one. A bit of a tedious slog to watch kids kill themselves and each other on an island. The premise is never satisfactorily explained and the bizarre conclusion offers no actual conclusion. Weird.
John Wick: Chapter 2
– after a profoundly tedious opening act, the action hots up and it delivers exactly what you’d expect: highly choreographed, laughably ludicrous fight sequences and good manners. Hits the spot if mindless violence is what you’re after.
Kong: Skull Island
– a spectacle at the very least. Drawing strongly on Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse Now influence, this is a fast paced action thriller that ought to entertain even the most passive of audiences.
Logan
– refreshingly different for the franchise and for the superhero movie genre, but still overrated
Hacksaw Ridge
– war film that has its moments but more often than not resorts to all guns blazing, chaos of war scenes with gore and fire aplenty. It could have been abbreviated hugely without losing any impact.
Doctor Strange
– bizarre superhero flop. Cumberbatch isn’t bad per say, but we’re way past peak superhero and the tropes aren’t getting any easier to tolerate.
Assassin’s Creed
– as a moderate fan of the games, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find this moderately enjoyable. It ticks most of the boxes for fun, even where it fails on story and overloads on style above substance.
Spectral
– after a promising, intelligent and smartly scripted start, this sci-fi crumbles into far fetched stupidity and unexciting action. A shame, because James Badge Dale delivers beyond the call of duty as the lead.
In the Heart of the Sea
– a good, old-fashioned, classic adventure story. A few pacing issues, but not bad at all
Captain America: Civil War
– in the top tier of this rash of Superhero movies, but that doesn’t say much. That said, Marvel at least delivers fairly consistent entertainment with a sense of humour, which is more than can be said for DC.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
– every time I think Superhero movies can’t get any worse, Hollywood squeezes out another turd. Miserable, long and confused; by now somebody has surely identified Zac Snyder as a child in adult’s clothing. Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor is an abomination, just disgustingly self-indulgent ham acting. Not all villains can be Ledger’s Joker, but man alive, someone out there must be able to do better than this? Maybe we need a decade or two pause to reflect upon what makes Superhero movies worth watching.
The Bourne Ultimatum
– doesn’t get old. Simply a top notch action thriller.
Special Forces
– A weak set up develops into a surprisingly slick and exciting military action thriller.
Hyena
– macho, gruesomely violent British thriller. Not especially thrilling, uncomfortably coarse, and most egregious of all: utterly unrewarding and unsatisfying. Don’t waste your time.
The Hill
– shouty black and white prison drama with a strong and understated performance by Sean Connery. The military formula grates.
Broken Arrow
– Hilariously old skool 90s action blow-em-up, complete with hammy dialogue and hammier acting. Great fun!
Deadpool
– Certainly novel, I’ll give it that. Comedically it misses as often as it hits though, and it’s gratuitously redband to a distracting extent. That said, it’s very entertaining and a refreshingly self-aware ‘meta’ take on the superhero action genre.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
– albeit a rehash of earlier film plots and a tribute to some of the (very) old characters, this is still a moderately enjoyable entry into the sci-fi franchise. Very much a ‘kids film’, the world and the action is unconvincing but innocuous, vacuous fun. Nowhere near deserving of the hype.
Ant-man
– Paul Rudd’s incessant charm offensive managed to win over my skepticism. It’s another fun superhero flick. Lighthearted and feel good.
The Man from Nowhere
– A fantastic crime cum revenge action thriller that grips tight early on and keeps you breathless until its spectacular conclusion. A new favourite in this genre.
The Gunman
– Tedious, predictable and miscast action thriller. Penn ‘in shape’ looks out of sorts and none of the characters are sympathetic. Not painful, but not worth your time either.
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
– A rip roaring and highly entertaining continuation of the Hollywood blockbuster franchise.
Man on Fire
– Still a cracking revenge action thriller from the late great Tony Scott. Holds replay value. Denzel is cool as a cucumber.
The Bourne Identity
– One of the finest action thrillers to grace the screen, and thankfully just the first of a stunning franchise.
Fast and Furious 7
– Exhausting nonstop action and ripe cheesy scripting leaves the 7th film in the dust of the far superior 5th and 6th franchise outings. However, the technical inclusion of the late Paul Walker throughout the movie, post humously, is seriously impressive, and their tribute to him is heartfelt and worth recognising.
Hector and the Search for Happiness
– aside from the fact Hector’s search for happiness is unashamedly unnecessary, implausible and fickle, this is an oddly satisfying comedic adventure. Nowhere near the marvellous Secret Life of Walter Mitty though.
Tomorrowland
– Deceptively mismarketed kiddie adventure flick. One of the worst films I have ever endured. Just sickeningly bad in every way. Avoid like the plague.
Kingsman: The Secret Service
– Tedious, almost cringeworthy action comedy from the team that brought us Kick-Ass. The action is fun, but the script and story are mildly offensive at worst and just plain stupid at best.
Rosewater
– Moderately interesting and well acted drama about an Iranian journalist imprisoned for his coverage of government military repression. Not unique among this type of film, and many others have done it better.
Mad Max: Fury Road
– An orgastic and maniacal apocalyptic symphony. Revel in the roar of engines, the screech and crunch of metal upon metal, and the sheer depravity of Miller’s explosive bicolour vision. If none of that sounds fun – give this a very wide berth!
Avengers: Age of Ultron
– The medley of action men (and women) tear it up again with the usual quips and techno gizmos. If you’re not bored of superheroes, there’s probably something here for you. Personally the genre is almost dead to me.
John Wick
– Stylistic action nonsense. Keanu’s deadpan dry monotones punctuated with fighting of all forms.
Transformers 4: Age of Extinction
– absurdly over-budgeted and overwrought blockbuster. Nauseating in acting, script and direction. Watches like an unedited YouTube CGI showreel. Even a fondness for Marky Mark won’t save this.
Fury
– laden with more testosterone than trans-supplements, this is a war film for the Call of Duty generation; action packed and utterly gripping.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1
– The usual overwrought, cheesy teen blockbuster that is now to be expected from the franchise. If you’re accustomed to the style and story, there’s no reason this shouldn’t be another enjoyable chapter.
Lucy
– Riddled with more holes than one of Lucy’s victims, this Besson action sci fi is nonetheless a lot of fun. Take it with a pinch of salt.
The Equalizer
– slick and highly entertaining action thriller from Antoine Fuqua, strongly influenced by Tony Scott style and delivered with aplomb. Denzel is a pleasure to watch. Leave expectations of subtetly and humanity at the door and this will be an absolute treat.
Guardians of the Galaxy
– Nowhere near the film the hype implies, this has still got a lot of entertainment value with off-the-wall comedy hurled in with the usual action sci-fi.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
– The usual schtick from the marvel crew. Moralising interspersed with explosions and fisticuffs. Quite good fun if you don’t mind dumbing down.
Sabotage
– Slick action and some terrific set pieces are strung together with innovative camerawork, but what a crushing shame that the storyline (and at times, the acting) are indefensible in their inanity.
The Expendables 3
– As expected: a nonsensical, incoherent mess of explosions, gunfire and macho babble filled with action dinosaurs that should have died in the line of duty a long time ago. Unimaginably boring and horribly scripted.
Pompeii
– Ridiculuous and laughably hammy, this gladiatorial blockbuster still ticks all the right boxes for good entertainment, despite insipid performances from all but Sutherland, who is having such a blast being evil that he’s a total caricature, and consequently great fun!
2001: A Space Odyssey
– Understandably a classic space sci fi. Striking imagery and an ambitious, epic, aeon-spanning story. Not easily watchable though – it’s very long and slumbrous, even boring, with extended silences and often little onscreen action. Remarkable what Kubrick achieved for the time though.
RoboCop
– Inane but entertaining sci fi blockbuster, if a little too po-faced and dour.
Road House
– Gripping and slick 80s Swayze action thriller. Brilliant fun even by todays standards and immediately quoteable to boot!
Edge of Tomorrow
– Hugely entertaining and funny action/ borderline action-comedy. Tom Cruise excels and glows in a way that he hasn’t for years, and Emily Blunt is a strong support. A lot of fun to be had with the premise, and they have it all. Highly recommended.
National Security
– a classic buddy cop action comedy, moderately entertaining and amusing with all the usual hammy tropes. Ridiculous but light hearted fun.
Banshee S01
– Give it a chance. Yes it’s stylised, yes it’s testosterone fuelled and macho, but the story really gels together tightly as the episodes progress, and the characters endear themselves quickly. The writing is smart and witty, even laugh out loud at times, and whilst the female characters are indubitably sexualised, they are also strong willed, intelligent and resilient. It’s an excellent hybrid of procedural and serial, with an overarching narrative that progresses swiftly enough whilst always including a novel element each episode. Highly recommended, and with room still to grow. Antony Starr is a revelation.
The General’s Daughter
– entertaining if ropey late 90s military thriller with an enjoyable performance from Travolta who tends to be overlooked these days.
Amazing Spider Man 2
– CGI heavy superhero sequel that doesn’t come close to its predecessor. Spidey is still full of entertaining quips but the plot is garbled and as usual, too many (two dimensional) villains spoil the broth. Garfield and Stone carry it.
Thor: The Dark World
– Bad, CGI heavy sequel to the original superhero epic, full of tropes, predictable twists and horribly clumsy script. Thankfully, between them, Hiddleston and Hemsworth have just about enough charisma that it is bearable, if not recommended.
The Last Stand
– This film has no redeemable qualities, or indeed qualities at all. Not just one of the worst action films I have ever seen, but one of the worst films full stop. A horrible combination of long and terrible.
Riddick
– A two star sci fi action if ever there was one but it’ll keep fans of Riddick immersed, just about.
Bloody Sunday
– Harrowing, unflinching, almost nausea-inducing biopic of the Bloody Sunday massacre in Derry. Amazing film.
Mammoth
– Sincere and touching dramatical portrait of long distance family relationships. Existential, without clear didacticism. Lack of uplifting resolution might alienate some viewers.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
– Tremendous sequel. Fast paced, utterly engrossing, funny and artistically crafted. Jackson scarcely puts a foot wrong in his latest adventure in Middle Earth. Wonderful.
2 Guns
– A business exercise, nothing more. Marky Mark and Denzel are watchable as ever, but there is nothing special to remark upon here. Formulaic, uninspired, drab. The usual male Hollywood box of tricks with a token beauty for eyecandy and the obligatory titty shot.
Kick Ass 2
– the first one was original and quirky, this is just kind of stupid. The whole farcical superhero thing already feels old and Hit Girl’s role is so feeble for the most part that there’s barely any slick action, just teen angst from whiny adolescents and contradicting moral messages.
GI Joe: Retaliation
– Mindless entertainment. Everything you’d expect from a blockbuster with this cast. Government conspiracy and explosions. Good fun!
Escape Plan
– Flawed on a lot of levels (not least with some dodgy CGI), but nonetheless slick and thrilling. The script is almost surreal in it’s absurdity, but action fans will love it. Hugely enjoyable.
The Shooting Party
– Insightful period drama surrounding a bourgeois country estate set against the backdrop of impending war. All star cast deliver fine performances. More allegorical and subtly illuminating than eventful.
Safe (2012)
– Exactly what you expect from a Statham action thriller. Heavy on the action, light on the thrills, a ton of one liners and several hospitals worth of broken limbs. If you’re a fan of the Stath, there’s no reason this should disappoint.
Man of Steel
– Absolutely insipid. Boring, nonsensical and aggravatingly cavalier with the superhero icon. Such a disappointment.
Real Steel
– Jackman’s charisma pulls it through the face palming cheese. The story arc is badly paced so it ends abruptly, but it’s steely enough feel-good blockbuster entertainment.
Avengers Assemble
– The usual mish mash of sardonic wit and adrenaline fuelled action. Takes a little while to get going but the second half is especially enjoyable. Better than other recent efforts in this genre (Thor, Captain America – I’m looking at you…)
Hanna
– Original but peculiar viewing. Sandwiched between a thrilling beginning and a (cheesy) straight forward ending, is Hanna’s random (and forced) relationship with an eccentric British family that are like caricatures from a bad ITV sitcom. This is undeniably stylish, but just too ridiculous and plot hole ridden to stand up as an excellent thriller. Not to mention, Wright appears to be obsessed with tunnels and Chemical Brothers. Literally every action scene takes place in a tunnel. Quite bizarre.
The Killer
– Brilliant. Fairly ludicrous, but played out with such conviction and sincerity that it works. An exciting, novel, action thriller.
The Heat
– Infantile and way off the mark, The Heat was about as funny as a school shooting. The alleged comedy relies on Melissa McCarthy’s coarse language and Sandra Bullock’s manly figure.
Chaos
– Ludicrous action and dire acting unite for a subpar Statham flick.
Tears of the Sun
– Willis dons his camouflage garb in this surprisingly restrained and sympathetic military rescue film. A thrilling war movie.
Dredd
– The eponymous Judge dessimates a tower block of drug fuelled gang members in this straight forward action shoot ’em up. Laughably ludicrous but good, mindless fun.
Broken City
– Straight up, fast moving thriller with Marky Mark doing his action thing. Smarter than most, but unfortunately a little conceited as a result, the impact is lessened by some perfunctory story lines and irritatingly lazy contrivances. Nonetheless, a good yarn at its core.
Wreck it Ralph
– An excellent, if too overtly didactic, animated adventure for kids and retro gaming nerds alike.
El Dia de la Bestia (The Day of the Beast)
– So whacky, ridiculous and off the wall that it’s (probably) worth tagging along for the ride, this blaspheming, B-movie action comedy mash up follows a priest as he adventures to prevent the birth of the anti-christ.
Lockout
– possibly the worst sci-fi film I’ve ever seen. More plot holes than words in the script. Simply awful awful film making. Even the action sequences and special effects are dire. Who thought throwing millions of dollars at this terrible excuse for a script was a good idea? Next time pay me and I’ll shit you a better script.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
– another fantastical adventure from Jackson. This is no Lord of the Rings, but it’s still a terrific, warm and well told tale.
Jack Reacher
– This bizarre and contrived film might raise a smile, but it can’t decide whether it wants to be a comedy, an action movie, or a thriller. Essentially a vanity project for Cruise, and it really shows.
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
– There’s a hint of genius in this hilarious animated adventure, and a ton of material for adults too.
Shooter
– an excellent if not remarkable conspiracy thriller with solid performances all round, don’t be fooled by the cover photo and shoot’em up name
End of Watch
– you think you’ve seen shaky cam? think again. Bad bad bad. Macho, patriotic, glorifying the police, but mainly just totally boring.
The Last Boy Scout
– a light hearted, unpretentious action romp Hollywood style.
Class Action
– clever legal thriller, horrible soundtrack but well executed story. Above average (perhaps thanks to Hackman?)
Underworld: Awakening
– the usual gore and action twixt Lycans and Vamps
Bourne Supremacy
– more top notch, slick action
Mission: Impossible 4 Ghost Protocol
– a thoroughly enjoyable action romp with a smattering of laughs too
Executive Action
– almost documentary-like conspiracy thriller using a considerable amount of original footage surrounding JFK assassination
Fatal Attraction
– an oldie, but a fantastic thriller nonetheless. A masterclass in suspense
The Green Hornet
– fresh take on the superhero/ sidekick genre, very stylish
Green Zone
– fast paced desert action with Damon pulling his Bourne moves. Excellent.
Priest
– this caught me by surprise. A terrific piece of futuristic, dystopian action.
The Veteran
– An unusual drama. Kebbell should do more like this (not shooting up estates)
Drive Angry
– sexy and action filled but unsatisfying on every other level
Green Lantern
– overly green and shiny superhero action flick, pretty lame
The Expendables
– Stallone’s all out adrenaline pumping action jizzle
Wild Target
– lighthearted and unfortunately largely humourless attempt at British action comedy
Super 8
– inspirational for amateur film makers but kind of average as an action adventure
Red
– extremely entertaining action comedy with a cast of hollywood heroes
From Paris With Love
– enjoyable action does what it says on the tin
Inception
– Nolan proves huge blockbuster thrillers can be intelligent (even mindboggling)
Fast Five
– another trashy action blockbuster but the best in the series so far
Captain America: The First Avenger
– more Hollywood superhero action fare, not one of the best
How To Train Your Dragon
– fun animated adventure with some great visuals
Salt
– frustratingly weak plot complemented by ludicrous action
Unleashed
– cheesy feel good action
Green Zone
– bloody entertaining actually.
The Book of Eli
– Surprisingly effective action